JimmyOentoro.com

Choose to listen, not just hear

Many workplace problems begin because someone doesn’t listen. Our goal is to have everyone listening to everyone else. If a person develops this life skill, he will be able to resolve problems better and faster, because he has made the attempt to understand the other person’s perspective on an issue.

It seems as if listening would be one of the easiest skills to develop, but it is actually one of the most difficult. Our ego is the biggest obstacle to listening, we would all rather listen to ourselves talk than to listen to someone else. The cardinal rules of listening are these:

- Don’t interrupt. Just listen.
- Don’t make judgments. Just listen.
- Don’t make suggestions. Just listen
- The focus is on the other person, NOT YOU.

The key rules for responding after listening thoroughly are:

- Repeat back to the person what he has just said to make sure you heard him and that he knows you understood him.
- Be open and honest. If you don’t understand what the person is saying, admit it. Say candidly, “I don’t understand. Please help me understand.”
- Seek better understanding by asking additional questions, such as, “why do you feel this way?”
- Stay positive. If a person makes negative comments, find a way of repeating the meaning of those comments back to the person in positive language.
- Address the issue. Do not blame or belittle the person who brings the issue to you.

Listening is a choice. When a person makes the choice to listen, he is on his way to being a servant leader.